I wanted January 1st of 2020 to be my new beginning to life, to eating healthier, being better. But life doesn't quite work like that, does it?
My new beginning for the year started a week into the new year when I started decluttering my house and did a thorough deep cleaning of my room and the balcony. I got rid of a bunch of things, things that lay forgotten and crumpled for years on end and had outgrown their use the moment they were out of sight. I cleaned and cleaned for a week and a half, and that period of time was an obsession or a meditation, I can't decide which. I think it was my concrete way of fulfilling a subconscious desire to simplify and start over. Before I could start something new, I had to get rid of the old. The week after that, I bought some new skincare products and threw out all the expired things I always hoped I would come around to using but never did. In the past couple of days I got a haircut, and find myself looking for different ways to do the things I do.
It is three weeks into January, and I still have not quite made my resolutions yet for the year, but I realize I've started my new beginning already. For me it isn't the resolution that mattered, it's the set up.
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